Dating in a modern world.
Meeting someone online can be a far more attractive option than meeting someone in real life. Online you get to send an interest, or a message, and then possibly the communication begins. But here is where the difference begins. You are in charge of the message and you can, in a relaxed setting, begin the entire communication process.
There are no pressures to say the right thing or to have your words or body language analyzed as your new interest sizes you up. You do not have to process body language from the other person as you speak. You are in relaxed control as to how you wish to begin the conversations and learn if there is a sincere interest. You get to set the tone, share a little of your personality and establish your boundaries. You get to share some of what attracted you without having to make a commitment. There is no awkwardness so you get to say how you think and how you feel. It’s a great setting for both you and your interest. The person receiving your message will begin to learn who you are.
LatinConexiones does not pretend to have the credentials to be a love expert or a relationship expert but we do have a wealth of information that comes from a very successful online dating industry and we do have many concerned experts in related fields who willingly share advice, concern and guidance for users of our site. Much of what we share in this article applies to building lasting and meaningful relationships in all areas of our lives.
A true relationship begins with honesty.
In all of our relationships we have the freedom to choose who we want to be and how we want to treat other people. There are two forms of honesty that are necessary when we use online dating services. Honesty with ourselves is extremely important when we launch our online presence. Remaining true to our intentions is a constant challenge because we will certainly meet many new people. It is easy to become sidetracked with the many opportunities that will be presented. Know who you are and be true to yourself as you proceed.
Honesty with the new friends that you will meet is exactly what you would expect to receive from them. Honesty toward your new person of interest is absolutely necessary in the communication as you begin the journey to know each other and again honesty is what you expect because you know how critical it is to your judgement and feelings and the ability to build trust.
The Golden Rule.
There are many profiles of users of dating sites who write that they seek and ask to be trusted and respected. There is a certain amount of trust that is granted from one human to another and because our environmental and cultural influences taught us various versions of the “Golden Rule”. But the kind of trust that enables us to build and sustain meaningful and lasting relationships is earned.
It is not earned for only a specific time period like during the courting stage. Trust is earned every moment of every day for the rest of our lives. And all that we have invested in our honesty for all of our previous moments can be lost in this moment if we choose not to be honest. Once it is lost, the trust is gone and we may or may not be able to earn it back.
Respect is also earned.
It is also based on our honesty, our trustworthiness, and other qualities that we habitually manifest. Speak with integrity remembering that everything we do and say is part of that integrity. Become thoroughly comfortable with doing the right thing.
Focus on the good and honest communication that you can control. Unlike real life relationships, some people who are online can hide behind a screen and may not have the same good intentions that you have. You cannot control them and you cannot change them. It is your job to maintain your caution, keep your antennae raised, trust your 6thsense and do your part to make the relationship work. If you do and the other person does not then you know that the failed attempt was not your fault. Move on.
Open lines of communication is key.
Since communication is much easier without pressure it still should be treated with much importance in a healthy relationship. We must think in terms that a new relationship is a healthy relationship. Earning trust and establishing boundaries will help to keep it healthy and give yourself an opportunity to evaluate someone before that first date.
Converse with some emotion so your audience will know where your passions and beliefs are. Many online daters reveal that because they are alone in their thoughts as they write their messages they are easily able to allow a little intimacy in their conversations. Please, I am not talking about intimacy in the bedroom. I’m allowing for the intimacy that should exist in all of the other rooms in the house. If you’re an intimate person don’t be afraid to allow a little of it to show.
Find those similarities.
New relationships usually begin with the discovery of many similarities and as the relationship develops we enter the deeper core of a person where we may find some slight differences. This is common. Different cultural backgrounds, environments and life-experiences produce different reference criteria that influence how we think, feel and relate. Continue the discovery until it is possible to understand how the other person may have been molded to what is seen today.
The similarities are usually revealed early in the communication while the differences take a little longer to surface. It is necessary to discover those difference so you can evaluate whether they are minor or important to your system of values, morals, ethics and principles. The possibility of agreeing on everything your new friend says or does is remote and the search for the perfect person should not impede your search for the person who is perfect for you.
There are some keys to identifying similarities and differences that can lead to a healthy and happy relationship and they are covered in a great article on the internet. These key core areas are centered around mutual respect, the ability to communicate without arguing or fighting, attitudes about sex, agreement on how to raise children, how each handles money, whether each has similar goals and the ability to be happy, have fun and laugh together.
Everything you need to know about your new person of interest can be discovered through communication. That person should be as anxious to share with you as much information as possible so you can continue making the decision to move forward in the relationship. If you want that person to have the same desire to move forward then you must share as much information about you as possible while remembering to protect your privacy and safety.
Ask the right questions.
Remember, you are entitled to ask questions and search for consistencies to learn if truths have been stretched, flaws have been hidden, stated values and qualities are truly core ingredients and the real heart and soul have been revealed. It is not necessary to directly challenge inconsistencies but any red flags should be filed in your caution zone to help guide you.