Your online profile is a lot like your online photos.
It is your introduction of yourself to all visitors to your LatinConexiones page and it is your opportunity to make a good first impression. The purpose is to create enough interest so that others will review your entire page and be moved to enter into communication with you. For many people it is very difficult to be objective about themselves so they do not write much or they write too much or they are not certain what to say.
The following information has been developed after extensive research into normal social behavior on dating sites and is being offered to help those who are not so comfortable writing about themselves. The suggestions are also designed to help improve the profiles for those who are comfortable and would like to create as effective a profile as possible.
Before anything is written know thyself.
Probably the most meaningful way to begin this is to listen to your heart and your soul and reflect upon what makes you smile and think about what makes you happy.
Remember that you are a very unique person.
There is not another person on the planet who is exactly like the sum of all that you are. Write down all of the words that come to your mind. Set that list aside and do it again a little later. Be realistic but also write all of your thoughts. Don’t bother to list them in any order. That can be done later when you structure your profile.
Get feedback
The next most effective thing you can do is to carry your thoughts to one of your closest and most trusted friends of the opposite sex whom you respect very much. Open your mind and ask him, or her, to share with you how he, or she, sees you as a person and as a potential partner. Share your list. Now you have many thoughts about who you think you are and how others may see your personality and your qualities.
The most important guideline always is honesty. Always!
Trust is earned and it is re-earned over and over again. Be yourself. Do not portray yourself as you think others would want you to be. When the new relationship begins the true self of each person shows up anyway.
Other considerations
The general length of a profile is suggested to be about 200 – 250 words. For reference, the previous six paragraphs combined are 388 words. That’s plenty of space and opportunity to create interest and for the right person maybe a little excitement. Communication is one of the most important qualities of a relationship and this is your first communication with the LatinConexiones community. You get to tell thousands and thousands of people about yourself. Take advantage of the opportunity.
There are two main sections of your profile. The first is the “About Me” section to share the most important features, qualities and characteristics that make you the unique person that you are. There is no one else on the planet that is exactly like you. You are a special person. Help your future friends and potential matches understand why.
The “Seeking” section is to share what you desire in a partner. You already know there may never be the Perfect person. What you are seeking is the person who is perfect for you and what you are sharing about yourself is to help identify what will be perfect for a future partner. Avoid clichés. Everyone wishes to be happy. Share why you are already a happy person and what makes you happier.
Avoid the “tired words” or “tired phrases” or “clichés” seen in so many profiles. This is your opportunity to be detailed and unique. If you like a specific genre of movies go ahead and list your favorite and, maybe, why. Remember there is such a point of being too specific. List the qualities that you like and admire in a person and avoid “must haves” or the appearance of being too demanding. There will be plenty of time in future communications to discover how important those are to you.
Use your best grammar with correct spelling and proper punctuation. The purpose of communication is to share thoughts and ideas and the rules that apply to the written form are designed for the reader to clearly understand your message. Following the written rules also helps to indicate that you are very interested in this process and you have put forth your best effort for the reader’s benefit.
Don’t brag or boast. It is great to be proud and confident but wear as much of your successes as you can on your inside. That inner confidence will allow you to write more positively and meaningfully and the reader will easily detect the qualities that you are trying to share.
When describing your future partner, again, do not be demanding. There is no such critter that is perfect. Too many demands indicate that you are more concerned about getting what you want and not so concerned about fulfilling your responsibilities in the new relationship. Most online seekers are not trying to find the perfect person. They are only trying to find the partner that is perfect for them.
Use the guidance that you received from your friends. If there is a particular characteristic or quality that describes you very positively go ahead and share it by saying “my friends say I am a very upbeat and positive person and I always help them to feel good”. Many of us shy away from “sales” but online dating and how you write your profile is a form of selling yourself that is expected and necessary.
Leave sex out of the photos and out of the profile. A profile that places a great deal of emphasis on sex may leave the wrong impression and, more importantly, attract the wrong group of persons. Remember you are trying to build a relationship and the sexiness of that relationship will take its own unique form.
After you write the profile lay it down for a day or two and then come back to review it. During that time look at some other profiles and mentally note how they sound. Ask yourself if any of them truly describe a unique person. Then when you go back to yours ask if it still sounds like you. Is it consistent with what you have conveyed in your photos? And, have you helped the reader to “see” the uniqueness of you.
Remember, you can always re-visit your profile to tweak it if necessary.
